Ted tells the kids that Barney has been mocking Robin for years for being Canadian. Robin tells Barney that she's Facebook friends with Barney's dad (Marshall is too, and Barney's dad is good at Bejeweled!). After Robin makes a comment about Manitoba, which Barney's dad finds interesting, he tells her that his mom is Canadian, making Barney 1/4 Canadian. Ahhh.
Once upon a time Ted met the slutty pumpkin (with strategically placed holes). She wrote her number on a Kitkat bar, which was sadly given away as Halloween candy, so he lost her number. So, every year, for the last 9 years, Ted has been going back to the same rooftop party, hoping she'll be there. One day, while walking down the street, Ted passes a costume store and there in the window is the Slutty Pumpkin costume. The guy behind the desk pulls out a very large book and gives Ted the information for the girl that rented the costume in 2001. It was that easy and that creepy. Good to know this guy gives out information to any one who asks. He's not focusing on the fact that 2 girls have disappeared, just that 3 girls who wore his wife's slutty artichoke costume got married. Interesting, where are the strategically placed holes in an artichoke. Can someone describe what a slutty artichoke might look like? Ted knocks on the door and when she opens the door, she remembers him and seems to be just as excited to see him as he was to see her!
Lily and Marshall go to visit Lily's grandparents (have we seen them before? Where do they live?). Ted tells us that Marshall loves the burbs. A throwback to the awesome scene from when Ted was dating Stella and the gang was hanging out in New Jersey and Ted and Marshall go to a warehouse store and Marshall can't get over how big everything is (love that one!). Anyway, apparently, they always give them junk, which Lily refers to as the "world's worst showcase showdown" - another throwback to Barney thinking his dad is Bob Barker. Turns out, they are giving Lily the house, even though she hates it, Lily says she'll take it.
Back in the city, Ted takes Naomi (the Slutty Pumpkin has a name!) to the roof where the party was for their first date. She asks if he remembers which song was playing when they met and start to sing. They go in for the kiss and it's awful.
At MacLarens: Lily says that she hates the burbs but she'll take the house. Marshall is so excited and can't wait to barbecue safely (cut to Lily walking into a smoke-filled apartment because Marshall is grilling indoors). When Lily leaves to go to the bathroom, Robin tells Marshall that they can't move to the suburbs because Lily is only excited about the house because she has pregnancy brain. Marshall then realizes that he has noticed some things. Cut to Lily frantically looking for her keys and wallet. Marshall finds them in the freezer, but where are the ice trays? Lily picks up her purse, water spills out and she starts crying about "those poor ice cubes". Robin comments that if Marshall takes advantage of Lily's brain in its current state, it would be like him taking advantage of a helpless drunk chick, at which point Barney appears (in the Ducky Tie of course) to help the "helpless drunk chick" before remembering Nora (damn, I have a girlfriend!). Lily tries to defend her brain and fails and agrees that they shouldn't make any decisions. Barney picks up his drink and likes it, but its Canadian whiskey. Barney spits in out and yells that he wants American Scotch, hehe. In comes Ted to tell them about his date with the Pumpkin. Apparently, it was good -ish. Everything was off. Holding her hand was weird and didn't fit. She put his arm around her, but her hair goes up his nose. She sighs that everything is great. Hmmm.
MacLaren's: Barney goes to take out money, but all that's in his wallet are coins. Robin filled Barney's wallet with looneys and tooneys. Barney starts to talk about Robin's people, but she corrects him that Canadians are "our people."
Pumpkin's apartment: The second date was worse than the first. Ted likens the Pumpkin to Temple Grandin's hug machine (I think that's what he said). Pumpkin is coming on to him, but Ted goes to the bathroom, he doesn't want to sleep with her. Fifteen year old Ted appears, and yells at him for even considering not sleeping with her. Ted apparently promised himself at fifteen that he would never turn down the chance to sleep with a girl. Fifteen year old Ted lists all of the objects previously used by Ted, including a top loading VCR. I can't say for sure, but ouch? Back on the couch, Pumpkin starts touching Ted's hair and uses the word caress. Over and over again. She apparently likes the word caress. Ted sums it up by saying, I like her but I don't like anything she says or does. Marshall took advantage of Lily's pregnancy brain and she ordered Viking stripes. Robin gives Barney a costume to wear and says that if he wears it, she'll drop the Canadian stuff forever. Cut to Barney's apartment with Barney dressed as a... Mountie. He starts singing Oh Canada, while starting to cry.
Lily tells Marshall that he's right and they shouldn't be making any rash decisions and that they should go to the house, because she has a broker coming over. Instead, the doorbell rings, Marshall opens the door to find adorable trick or treaters. Lily then tells Marshall that she's been playing him and she doesn't have pregnancy brain.
Pumpkin's apartment: Ted goes to break up with her but she's wearing the costume and made him a new hanging chad costume. Ted's inner monologue tells him to break up with her, but for some reason, he tells her he loves her instead. Noooooo.
Rooftop Halloween Party: Robin dressed as hockey player, blacked-out front teeth included. She calls Barney wondering where he is. All of a sudden "Living in America" starts blasting and out of the smoke comes Barney dressed as a boxer(?) in a top hat, boxers, socks, sneakers and boxing gloves, all in red white and blue.
The Burbs: Lily tells Marshall he can have the pinball machine, because they'll have so much room, cue lots of sexual inuendos.
Party: Barney leads everyone in a "U-S-A U-S-A" chant. Ted introduces Pumpkin to Robin and Barney. Everything they do is so awkward. Pumpkin leaves to make herself a "Tootsie Roll" - which she invented and has a song and dance that goes with it. Barney: "Ted, have you tasted her tootsie roll."
Burbs: Sexual innuendos continue, "Marshall, "this house wants you so bad." "Winterize my pipes, baby." "I'm coming..." "to terms with this house." But then the doorbell rings again, Lily gives the kids, a stapler, scissors and a good bottle of wine and then she realizes that she really does have pregnancy brain. They decide to go back to the city.
Party: Pumpkin says to Ted that they have to end this. When he looks confused, she says that Tootsie Rolls make her honest. She realizes that they are terrible together. Everything always felt off. Now we see everything from her perspective. Ted read everything she did the wrong way. She's been looking for hot hanging chad for nine years and really wanted it to work. They say goodbye. Barney points Ted in the direction of the To Do list girl (one item: Me!). Ted tries to back away, but fifteen year old Ted says that he'll kill him. Ted goes.
Tag: Barney's apartment. A flash of light and a Mountie comes out of Barney's brain, with an awesome Canadian accent. Barney tries to beat him up, but Barney Mountie is too nice. Heavens to Gretsky.
Alright, that's the episode. Here are some thoughts:
This seemed like a throwback episode: First of all, it was just the gang, no Nora (only one mention of her too! and no Kevin). Ted is back to wife-searching dating a girl that he wants to like,and trying to make it work and failing. Barney, appearing randomly to make awesomely inappropriate comments. Not to mention the onslaught of Canada jokes. The episode seemed to be an attempt to woo back long time fans. I, for one, hope the wooing continues!